sweet home chicago.

i made it back safely to my wonderful home here in chicago.

i spent the last few days with vivian. saturday night we went out together and had a really really wonderful time. then sunday her family came for dinner. i absolutely love her family.

i was feeling quite ill on monday so i slept for 18 hours. my body realized it could rest and just became so so sick.

that night viv's girlfriends came over and we had krokets, salad, and frits. then we went to see sex and the city 2. i was pretty disappointed in the movie. but the theater was really cool--when you buy a ticket you get a SEAT, like at a concert. it was a nice concept.

then on tuesday i dragged myself out of bed and went to amsterdam. i forgot i had more pictures to upload. i guess i'll do that later and post them. i saw the anne frank house and roamed the streets.

now it is so nice to be back in my little house with the trees and flowers fully bloomed. today my family comes to chicago for my graduation and i couldn't be more excited.

everyone keeps saying "you look so european." i wonder if i really do?

berlin.

a lady bug was in my hair today. at first i thought it was a leaf. i think it peed on my hand. it left a yellow liquid. do ladybugs pee? if so, it peed on me. i think lady bug pee is good luck.

maybe i should wait to write this when i am in a good mood, but i also want to write while it is still fresh in my mind. i am of course on the train and i am feeling ill. probably just my allergies triggered once again by all the smokers here in europe. i am praying that upon my return to real life that i don't get sick again. sort of like after finals in school i would always get sick because of how i pushed my body. i will be open to suggestions for "staying healthy remedies." i am also cranky because i am very exhausted and german people are SO loud. i do not know if they know how to lower their voices. AND last complaint--they have the ugliest language in all of europe in my opinion. i will be glad not to have to hear it for a long, long time.

i am very pleased that i stopped in berlin. in fact, i wish i would have skipped zurich and taken an overnight train to berlin. it was SO fascinating with all its history. there are old buildings and very new modern buildings. there are fabulous museums and delicious, cheap cheap food. i ate so much while i was here because i knew holland would be much more expensive to have the same "special european" food.

this is what we need to export to america: doner kebaps. i saw all the shops in many places here in europe, but i never stopped because it looked kind of gross. but someone suggested to eat one while in germany so yesterday i did. WHOA. i am in love. for only 2.50 i got this huge pita pocket "sort of" thing. filled with chicken and lots of veggies and a great little yogurt sauce. my mouth salivates. i think i would give up all sweets IF i could have one of those every week.

when i arrived in berlin i went to my hostel called three little pigs. i have no idea where the name comes from but it is in an old convent. it was really big and a nice location in west berlin. since i had no guide book or pages on the city, i decided to just walk around. i quickly looked up on wikitravel a few things and saw that museums were free on thursdays for 4 hours in the evening. i went to one that looked interesting and it was closed. i ended up seeing this tiny exhibit on "60s high fashion," which my mom would have LOVED. lots of photography and fashion drawings. it was neat, but none of the signs were in english and the people working there didn't speak english. i was very frustrated. in fact they were more rude to me than ANY person in france.

after my frustration with the people, i decided just to walk the streets and see what i find and not talk to anyone. my emotions were running high so it was best that i just steer clear. i saw some cool buildings and took some nice pictures.

oh dad! if you still worked for them we could have been moved berlin. although at that time it was a real disaster there so nevermind.

this is for sammy: i had a thought that the city of berlin looked like a big lego town. a few minutes later, i ran into a lego giraffe. i thought of you. i hope you do that when you're older. it seems fun.


then i heard some music playing so i followed the sound. they played in the quad of the famous church and were really great. samba music i believe. i lay in the grass to listen. THEN this man in a WINDBREAKER from the 90s and dreadlocks walks up to me. he spreads his legs and walks OVER ME. i was so scared that i curl into a ball because i had no idea what he was doing. he says some things to me in german. i hold onto my purse and my journal. he stands over me. i pretend he is not there. i look up and these girls are motioning for me to come over. so i get up and they ask who that was. i say i have no idea. they thought maybe i knew him at first, but then saw how uncomfortable i got. they were my age and so so nice. we danced to the music together. once it was over we decided to get food and a drink.

they took me to a german place and i had a braut and sourkraut even though i knew i didn't like it. one girl said to me, "i've never heard of anyone not liking it." well, it was confirmed and i am officially the first person she knows that doesn't. although, i didn't tell them how gross it was to me. there names: francis, mara, max, ira, (me), and claudia. they have known each other since they were FOUR and grew up in berlin.

the next day i woke up and went to the free walking tour that i also did in london and prague. one thing i loved about berlin is how much i learned. i had learned most of it in school, but much of it escaped my brain once the test was over. i've never been much of a history person i think because i need to be able to see places. my dad would have loved it here. i saw:
the brandenburg gate.

a star trooper.

the holocaust memorial, which was very moving despite how it looks. on the outside was sunny and as you get deeper, it gets dark and cold.

hitler's bunker, which is now a "car park" the place the soldiers tried to bury him is now covered by an old shoe deposit.

the left trees are east berlin. the right trees are west berlin.

checkpoint charlie.

the berlin wall. there were two parts to the wall. and in the middle is called death valley or something (sorry my memory is not that great) because if you go over one side, the soldiers would just kill you. and next to the wall is where the SS headquarters were. i didn't make it to that museum, but i wish i had. did you know hugo boss designed the ss uniform?

this bike where the guys drank AND had to peddle at the same time. talk about cycling accident.

the university where marx and engels study. oh and albert einstein.

the book burning memorial, which was difficult to photograph.

the soldiers memorial. it is a statue of a mother holding her son. above them is a hole so all the weather hits them. rain, snow, sun. they will never be protected is the idea.

the tv tower. when it was built, the guy ordered for all crosses to be removed from churches. he wanted east berlin to be a non religious, secular society. and then when they unveiled the tower, the sun shown on it and made a huge cross on it! oh i love that story.

i can't believe that it was only a year after i was born that the wall came down. and to see a place that was so in ruins only a short time ago.


after the tour, i went to the kennedy museum. i never get tired of reading things about them. look at his suitcase: louis vuitton. they had many of his things and i really enjoyed it. it was about how the family used images, which was very important to his presidency. they also had an exhibit of obama and his administration. about the new york times thing on them and how it was similar to something they did for JFK. i felt very proud to have been there when he was elected our president. i look forward to going to a museum about him in 50 years. oh and those are jfk's keys with the pope's face.

i was so exhausted i went home to rest before this pub crawl at night. every city i went to i said, okay this will be the day i do it. but by the time night rolled around i was always too exhausted. i made a pact with myself to go because everyone raved about the night life in berlin. i met a boy juan in my room from argentina and we went together. he had these crazy heart, girl socks on even though he claimed they were mens. he made me laugh and helped me with my spanish. BUT i didn't totally love the crawl. i don't really think i'm so into partying like that. i did enjoy observing how within 15 minutes of the next bar, boys and girls were pairing off. and if they weren't yet paired off--they were scouting like hawks for who to go after. i went home by 12, which is lame, but okay with me.

this morning i went to the jewish museum berlin. i knew it would be really sad and it most definitely was. the building was INCREDIBLE and i won't try to explain it because it is impossible. only something you feel. for so many years i've learned about the holocaust and so many years i have felt sad for the people. but to stand there and think about how it happened in THAT land and that life continued to go on in THIS city while millions were being killed---i couldn't help, but to tear up. i thought about all the loved ones separated and how it would be if my family was taken from me.

it was a very melancholy day for me as i am realizing my trip is coming to an end. and i am coming to terms with never seeing jord again. i feel sad, but going to that museum put things in perspective. i could have reasons to be much more sad. and so i try to be grateful for these weeks that i have had to grow and grow and grow. i knew it would happen, but not to this extent. i hope i can carry it with me as i go back to the states and back to real life. i am glad that i wrote in my journal so that when i start to slip back into my old, degrading ways, i can pull myself back out.

i wish i could share everything that has happened to me emotionally. all the thinking i've been doing AND the non-thinking (which is nice since i am an overthinker by nature). i learned to be adventurous and to follow my heart. i didn't try to be someone else and i did what i enjoyed doing and never felt guilty about it. sure i don't have much interest in old egyptian history or the bysintean gate, but i could spend hours looking at modern art or laying in fields.

i head back to holland now much different than i began.

once i went to this psychic when i was in high school with madison. we thought it'd be funny. all i remember her saying was that i would love 5 people. i sort of laughed and thought wow i have a long way to go. i thought of it today, which i haven't thought of in a long long time. i think i am three down. two to go. each one keeps getting better and better. all dark hair. i will be a lucky woman once i reach that fifth one if it continues like this.

anyway, i am long winded today.
love love love,
e.

zurich.

hallo,
zurich was a bit of a disaster in the beginning. all the hostels were booked online so i decided to walk and see if they had an opening. no. i panicked a bit and went to starbucks to find a solution. i had set up a couch surfing account before i left and so i figured it was my only option.

i sent out so many requests with an urgent message telling my situation. i was nervous no one would reply. 10 minutes later a boy did and said he had the flu, but to message another guy who would surely have me. so i do and he replies within two minutes. i decide to take the offer in case i didn't have any others. he is weird on the phone.

i get thirty other people telling me i could stay with them. it really allowed me to see how wonderful the human race can be--letting a stranger into their house last minute.

i meet the man at the train station at 8. last year he had 200 people stay with him. i figured he must be a good host then. on the contrary... he was really manipulative in his words and so so rude. his energy was terrible the minute that he walked into my personal space. i felt uncomfortable and wanted to cry. i tried to be a big girl, but the feeling wouldn't escape. there were many rules and i can barely write about all the things he said to me because it makes me get that feeling back. but i will share this story--he tells me about his divorce and his kids. he says he is glad to have his single life back again (although he has a girlfriend of 2 years). he can finally take back up his hobby. what is that i ask? photography. oh great! i say. of people he says. cool i say. then he starts explaining the german words for it. "the closest i can think of to an english word would be nude photography," he says. oh, i say. my body tenses up. immediately realizing what kind of man i am in the presence of. i knew he had to be a creep.

he makes me dinner and we go on a walk. he tells me the next day i WILL go to a couch surfing meeting that is weekly. then he asks if i would object to leaving the meeting early because he enjoys conversing with me and would like to do so on a more one on one situation. i say okay because i didn't know how to tell him i really had no interest.

i go to bed after the walk, but just found another couch surfer to stay with who had messaged me before. he was from california and is working in zurich. i decided i'd trust this man. i told the first man that i decided to take an overnight train to berlin and so i would keep my bags at the train station for the day. the next guy was really kind. his wife lives in germany so his house gets lonely. i had a whole big room and no rules. it turns out he knows the other guy because he is the ambassador for zurich--the head guy for couch surfing there. and he knew exactly why i was uncomfortable. it was nice to hear i wasn't crazy.

that day i walked around the city on this little walking tour from a tourist map. honestly i think it just walked me through every shopping platz in the city. makes it quite difficult for me to resist. i managed only to buy a swiss watch in my favorite color. i had taken a lot of money out because it is THE most expensive city i have been in and the hostels were a lot. but then i ended up not paying for a hostel either night. i didn't want to lose money in changing it back to euros or dollars so i spent it.

i went to a museum and got lucky because it was a free day. i think it was my favorite museum i've seen so far. the collection was so diverse and every corner i turned i just smiled so excited to see a real painting by these artists i've taught my students about. here is a sample of what i got to see:

pablo picasso.
joan miro.
van gogh.
edvard munch.
monet.
rodin. -- i loved his sculptures
robert delaunay.
paul klee.
roy lichtenstein.
andy warhol.
piet mondrian.
jackson pollock. (one time i dated a boy who made me feel so dumb for how i said his name. i almost cried. and then my audioguide said it the exact same way. i'm not so dumb after all)
dali.
poussin.
polke.
kandinsky.

so so amazing. and oh! check into the sculptures of giacometti. i loooved them. i've become a real art lover.

here's the volcano in iceland.

i walked and saw all the buildings. it was rainy and really cold. for some reason my stomach decided to be the most hungry in the most expensive city. usually i just eat breakfast and a mid day meal. but here i ate three times. crazy.

i was walking down a cobblestone street and i saw this painter painting the scene. we smiled at each other. this is what he was painting. i ended up talking to him for a while. he is from new jersey and living in new york. he was commissioned to paint landscapes and portraits for a guy in zurich. he was really really amazing. it was a nice chat.

when i bought my watch, there was an older lady looking at them too. she tried talking to me in german and i said sorry only english. we ended up talking in the store for ten minutes. then before we parted ways, she grabbed my two arms and said, "i will never forget you, erica" it made me feel really special.

i think there is a saying that all the ducks are lined up in a row? well in zurich, all the swans are lined up in a row.

here was my siting of the alps.

the one thing i loved about zurich was how many free things they hand out. in the day and a few hours that i was there, i got 4 free samples. green tea drink, gum, coke zero, and some other drink. justen justen should move here. "i love free and free loves me."

that night, my new host aaron and i had an evening drink and then made dinner. he told me his story, which was a brutal childhood of orphanages and foster parents. he was so kind to me. offering me everything. he even had a DRYER, which i haven't seen my whole stay in europe. his wife lives in germany while she finishes her degree and then will join him next year. he married her in vegas after a two year engagement. i was so grateful for his kindness.

now i am on my way to berlin. i sat next to a man on the train from there so he gave me tips. he said i'll barely get to see anything because i'll only be there for a day and a half. i'll do my best. but that probably means i won't be updating this until i'm back to holland. i feel so guilty for the neglect, but the trip is almost over and i have a hard time justifying sitting on my computer when i could be out and about. soon enough :)

sorry for so many words this time. not much to see in zurich, but with a few good stories.

chuse,
erica

marseille. where i have fallen in love.

i feel guilty for neglecting my blog for the past few days. i had my barcelona blog written, but needed time to upload pictures. it is quite time consuming. now i will update both. i am headed to zurich on a whim right now. i planned on going to berlin, but the train would have taken all day and i had an extra day on my eurorail pass. so i will stop in zurich. i don't have a hostel reserved and it is really expensive there so i hope everything works out. i love the adventure of it :)

i spent the last few days visiting jord in marseille. on the train there i sat next to a boy from mexico who studied in el paso. he was traveling for 8 weeks and had just started his journey. i enjoyed telling him my favorite places--what i liked and what i didn't like. the view was INCREDIBLE. the train went along the coast and made for a pleasant journey.

i got really nervous as i got off the train, hoping i'd recognize jord. i was walking and this man stepped out from behind the other people waiting and i lost my breath. he was so handsome. we smiled at each other for a long time. look how handsome he is.....

he told me he would show me a very beautiful place. we drove past the water and he turned into this little town area. we parked the car, got our bathing suits, chocolate bar, and fruit juice (what a combination) and headed for the water. we climbed over some rocks and he was not hesitant at all about jumping in. me, on the other hand, i was so so so nervous. 1) the water looked really cold 2) i'm scared of open water like that in case i drown. for some reason the second i see the sea i forget how to swim. but i decided that it was a once in a lifetime experience, i counted to three, and i jumped. it was so so cold at first, but once i swam around a bit, it warmed up. we got out and sat on the rocks eating chocolate. when the sun started going down, we changed back into our clothes and headed for the harbor.


jord's oldest friend was coming into town with his boat. he takes care of the boat and drives it for some really rich guy. it was really really incredible. we had some beer and ate this french sausage thing. i can't even describe how lovely it was to feel the wind blow in my hair like that. then for dinner me, jord, pierre yve, and nicholas ate on the port.

one conversation went like this:
pierre yves: one day jord's daughter came on the boat
me: jord has a daughter?! this is news to me (inside i'm having a little panic attack)
pierre yves: yes, she is 22
me: 22? that is older than me

twenty minutes later and a lot of panic on my part
me: jord, you really have a daughter?
jord: yes two actually. one is 22 and one is 28
me: so you were 11 when you had a kid?
jord: what do you mean?
me: very very confused
jord looks at me
jord: oh i mean sister, not daughter.

i think i almost had a heart attack and had a million things racing in my head of a life he hadn't told me about. what an important language mix up!!

the next day we woke up and jord asked if i liked hiking. we packed some food and i really had no idea what i was in for. we started on the trail and i was so unsuspecting. he had never been to this place either so we were both shocked when we turned a corner and saw these mountains and the sea. i tried to take a lot of pictures, but it doesn't capture enough of the beauty. wow. i it looked like a painting.

we climbed down the other side of the mountain where there was a beach and took a nap in the sun. jord went swimming, but i sat this one out. he is so cute. this was him confused about something i said in english.

after we went back to pierre yve's boat and the three of us went for drinks and lebanese food. i had never eaten it before and fell in love with it. really really delicious. and hummus--oh how i've missed you.

(side note: i just went to the bathroom and came back and the top rack on this train is clear and i banged my head against it so hard and bit my tongue simultaneously. it hit right where i have a bump from 4th grade and it is now growing into a goose egg. way to go)

on monday we visited the notre dame church. it overlooks marseille and has a giant golden virgin mary and baby jesus on it. it is quite exquisite. you climb a big hill. the inside was magnificent. i couldn't take pictures though because mass was going on. there was a plaque that told about when pope john paul the second visited and prayed to mary there. oh and! there were all these dents in the side of the church from when marseille was freed in the war. and down at the bottom of the hill was a big US canon.

then we laid in the sun in the middle of a field of flowers. then we got dressed up that night and jord showed me the little town by his house. he lives about 20 minutes from downtown. it was SO SO SO cute. perfect in fact. lots of shopping and restaurants and fountains. i am in love with this picture of us.

look at this "bus." it is the public transport because the streets are so small.



next we went to the boat and had a glass of wine before dinner. we had planned on going to see a show, but when we went to get tickets, they had canceled it. that was okay by me because i would have fallen asleep since 1) i don't like theater and 2) i don't know french. so instead the four of us just ate at a pizza place. i took a little nap back on the boat while the boys chatted. they reminded me of my dad and his friends--how they have so many jokes and just laugh and laugh and you can tell they love each other. they said i was good because i never complained. i was proud of myself. but i really did enjoy their company.

this morning i had to wake up really early to catch my train. i met a nice french boy and we talked for a few hours before we had to get off. he was so kind and carried my things for me. i asked if he'd go to zurich since my bag is so heavy, but he said he'd get fired if he didn't go to his meeting. we run into each other again as he passes through the station to a different exit to get a taxi. we talk as we walk and i say merci and au revoir again. he initiates the two french kisses on the cheek. i am a master of this now. then something unexpected: he REALLY french kisses me. right in the middle of the station. me holding my heavy heavy bags, him holding his bags with 7 computers he kisses me and then we say au revoir and turn around forever. french men love me.

so my little break was nice. i felt like i was on holiday from my holiday. backpacking is hard work and going to museums all the time gets old. i loved the water and the sun and being with jord.

maybe one day i'll go back and teach english (the french sure need an english teacher) and live with jord. my life would be so lovely except for that fact that i would also need to learn french, which i have no desire to do.

au revoir for now,
e.

ps. for mom, dad, and alex.
remember when dad told us about how he had to take a training on a defibrillator at work? and i say after 10 minutes of thought, so what is that for? to check is someone is lying when they come in to talk about their stocks? thinking that fib---lie. this box was on the boat. and i thought of you and i laughed and laughed.